Sure You Love Him, But Do You Like Him?

“Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” – Amos 3:3 MSG

photo art: Raye Wortel

photo art: Raye Wortel

It’s February, and love is in the air.


For most of us, love is the guy who misses the hamper, eats without a plate, and puts dents in our sofa cushions every evening.


He’s the one you’ve built a life, a family, and a home with.


You’ve walked, crawled and even clawed your way through every joy and every tear with this guy.


He’s your man, and of course you love him.


You’re just not sure you like him.


But hey, it’s no big deal. Love definitely matters more.


For every illness, job change, vacation, cross-country move, and kid-created crisis you’ve shared, you can’t help but love your hubby. There are too many years, and too much history between you. And without love, you wouldn’t be where you are today.


Nope. Liking my husband is certainly not as important as loving him.


Mind if I disagree?


When my marriage was in deep trouble, I realized we had spent many years loving each other out of obligation. I loved him because we had twenty years under our belt together. We had shared experiences. We grew up together, worked together, cried and laughed together.


How could I not love him?


It was a love propped up on duty and necessity.


The problem is, when love is missing friendship, we’re in trouble.


We’ve got to be “in like” as much as we are in love.


Let’s face it, when the distractions of children, jobs, and the hustle of a busy life start to fade away, we’re going to want to know we like the man who shuffles to the breakfast table every morning.


You liked him once, remember?


Remember the days when you liked his humor and cologne, and his absentmindedness was adorable?


Well, now is the time to fall “in like” all over again.


I’d like to challenge us to make this February a time of learning how to like our man again.


I don’t have a special formula to follow, except to say our heart and mind must be in the right place. Here are four ideas to help us:


  1. Check your criticisms. (Proverbs 12:18)
  2. Let go of hatred. (Proverbs 10:12)
  3. Like (and love) with intention. (1 John 3:18)
  4. Be a source of encouragement. (Hebrews 10:24)


After that, the best advice I can give is to just start telling your man you like him. But make sure you have reasons as to why you like him, otherwise things could get awkward real quick. Oh, and I found the best, no-pressure, way to tell him is to leave a little note by his wallet.


And for heaven’s sake, don’t ask him if he got it.


It’s February, and like is in the air!


“Where there is not friendship there can be no fellowship.” – Matthew Henry

2 Replies

  1. Lori perez

    I really really liked that. Thank u for also giving some scriptures to go back to. Never thought about that before. I do love him very much but as far as liking I do have to think about that and that is pretty sad after 36 years.

    1. Raye Wortel

      We all get in relationship ruts, Lori. I’m glad this post spoke to you this morning.

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