Dead By Noon

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.   John 17:3  NIV



Photo: Renae Bowman



Last year was a tough year for me, health wise.


Compared to so many others, I know it was minor but I had a struggle. Literally from the beginning of symptoms, to a resolution, it lasted one year.


Like many of you have, I went to more than one doctor.

I did more than one test.

I had more than one hypothesis of what ailed me.


It was draining to say the least.


It was irritating to hear “we just don’t know, take another test.”


It was defeating to be told, there are no answers.


I started down the path of dejection and despair.


When I kept hearing the words, “unknown diagnosis”, I did my best to seek out my own answers.


With test results in hand, I scoured the Internet.

With symptoms flourishing, I sought cyber advice.

With time ticking away, I listened to many.


And when all that “advice” came to a head, I started believing I’d be dead by noon.


I read so much, joined chat rooms, listened to lectures—I had no other choice than to believe I had some wayyyy over the top serious stuff going on. No one else was giving me answers so why wouldn’t I think that?!

Have you been there?  Have you spent so much time on some Internet MD sites to try to find answers that you might as well get your Last Will and Testament written?

There truly was one day I signed off the computer, went and laid on my bed and cried thinking I would be dead very, very soon. I was at a crossroads trying to figure it all out.

My symptoms were real.

My pains were real.

My despair was real.

But my diagnosis was not.


And let me tell you…coming out of all that months later, I had such a flashback to before I became a Christian.


You see, before I said yes to Jesus, I was saying no-way to giving Him my heart.




Because I had myself becoming someone I didn’t want to be.

I had myself turning into one of those stick-in-the-mud Christians.

One of those holier-than-thou Christians.

One of those hypocrites who lived one way and told others another.

They were everything I didn’t want to be.


I had diagnosed my future…and the future was not looking bright!


But then it happened (with a chuckle).


God saw it differently. He slowly chipped away that image and brought people around me that completely dispelled those thoughts.


You mean I could have a good time without getting buzzed?

You mean I could have a monogamous relationship that had meaning?

You mean I could be worth something in spite of horrendous sins from my past?


He said Yes.

And my life hasn’t been the same since—in a good way.


Yours can be too.


I’m far from perfect, but perfection is not what I seek. Being with a Perfect God is.


If you haven’t made Jesus your Savior, may I suggest you take stock of why not?

Maybe you, too, have self-diagnosed what your Christian life would be like.

Maybe that image isn’t real.

Maybe you’re missing a huge part of the picture.

Maybe you’re using others as a bad example, but missing the greatest Doctor to help heal your soul.


There came a time in my year-long journey I did listen to an expert.

There came a time advice was true.

There came a time the diagnosis was spot on.

There was more than enough evidence for me to trust.


If your journey of faith has taken you down some dead-end roads, maybe it’s time to trust Jesus. The evidence is real. The solution is real.

Maybe it’s time to put aside being dead by noon and choose to live forever.









4 Replies

  1. Janet Quartly

    Thank you, Renae, for this entry. I love how you tied it all together. Miss you in the WOF group!!

    1. Thanks Janet! I know you can relate. Say hi to everyone for me, I miss them all.

  2. Karen Uribe

    Thank you for writing this Renae, so praying for you!

    1. Thank you Karen! I can always use the prayers (who can’t, right?)

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