Friendship: 10 Thoughts on True Friendship

“Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me.” 1 Samuel 20:42 NIV

---

This is part one of my 3-part series on friendship.

From the moment we stepped into the neighborhood sandbox with our toddler toes, and diapered bottoms, we have sought the gift of friendship.

 

And ever since, we’ve experienced the messy and the joyful, the heartbreaking and the heartwarming conditions of these relationships.

 

God created us to be creatures of companionship, and yet so many of us have felt empty and spent in our friendships.

 

I became intrigued with the idea of true friendship when I went through the darkest and most severe years of my life with people I only knew well, but those whom I could not call true friends.

 

So, what is true friendship, and what makes it different from the multitude of friendly interactions we have with people everyday?

 

First, I think we have to look at ourselves. Do we have the heart of a true friend?

 

I believe it is far better to allow God to cultivate the characteristics of true friendship within us before we ask him to send us someone who already possesses them. For we may not have the ability to recognize such a gift in the midst of our ignorance.

 

So, here are 10 characteristics I believe make a true friend (in no particular order):

 

1. Loyalty
Someone who is willing to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with another in the rush of life’s storms. Sometimes silent, sometimes not, but steadfast always.

 

2. Selfless
Someone who rejoices and relinquishes beyond their own concerns.

 

3. Encourages
Someone who uses word and deed to lift up, and push on those who’s strength is failing.

 

4. Self-Controlled
Someone who is thoughtful and responsible with their emotions and actions.

 

5. Loves
Someone who demonstrates enduring patience, kindness, and forgiveness solely for the benefit of another.

 

6. Trustworthy
Someone who can learn the deepest secret, or the darkest promise and not feel compelled to share it – no matter the gain.

 

7. Strength
Someone who faces the winds of life with a swaying and bending, but never a yielding.

 

8. Godliness
Someone who loves, knows, acknowledges, lives, depends on, and thanks the One who created them.

 

9. Truthfulness
Someone who is honest enough to say the hard things with no other motivation than to make the other a better person.

 

10. Wisdom
Someone who seeks, learns, and uses truth to counsel and advise when called upon.

 

Sound impossible?  Only if we expect perfection.  That’s the beauty of true friendship, it flourishes despite our failings or flawlessness!

 

What makes a true friend for you? Have you been blessed by a true friend? I would love to know your experiences.

 

Next week’s message: Friendship: When Friendships Fail