Why Am I Fat??!!

I have been on a diet FOREVER!  For as long as I can remember, I have been battling weight.  My first memory of a diet was way back in the 5th grade.  I was thin up to that point, but then ballooned.  Family photos tell the story.  From that point on I started the endless up and down of numbers on the scale and numbers on my clothes.



photo: Renae Bowman

And today, the battle remains.


But now a new element has come into the mix…my metabolism.  Or should I say…my age.  I’m the big 5-0 now.  Seems all I have to do is look at food and it sticks to me like brand new Velcro.


In the midst of my daily thought of my size, I often yell out, “Why am I fat?”  (Add about a thousand exclamation points after and hands clenched to the heavens). I tell myself I can’t seem to figure it out.  I can’t seem to get it under control.  I can’t seem to find the reason why.


But wait!


There’s a little voice saying, “Of course you can figure it out.” “Come on, you know the reason.”


Uh-oh, I know where this is taking me.


“Those nachos you had for dinner—wrong.  That chocolate cake you had after dinner—wrong.  Those 5000+ calories you had yesterday—wrong.”


“Must I go on?” My inner voice asks.


And when I return to calorie counting and my little journal of intake, there it is—the answer—flat out.


“You eat too much!!!”


Plain and simple.  That little voice screams loud and clear, “stop being a piggy!”


Simple mathematics.


Calories in vs. Calories out.


And before the comments come about every calorie is not the same, try more protein, carbs are bad, fats are good, etc., etc.—I’ve heard and have lived them all. But bottom line, overall I eat too much.  I love food, that’s hard to change! Yet, I still cry out in anguish.



And I thought of how we constantly cry out to God—continuously—over the same things over and over and over again.  Yet He’s given us the answers:


Where are You Lord?            “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

I just want out!                        “I hate divorce.”

Malachi 2:16

My heart is breaking.              “In me you may have peace.”

John 16:33

Our country is failing.            “My kingdom is not of this world.”

John 18:36

Our government is failing.     “Trust in God; trust also in me.”

John 14:1

I just want to be happy.           “I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”

John 6:30

Why does my life suck?             “With God, all things are possible.”

Matthew 20:26

You just don’t understand.        “Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

Luke 6:37

Why can’t I have…                      “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth.”

Matthew 6:19

Why me?                                         “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.”

Matthew 6:33

 (Pick a different topic, there’s more where these came from!)


God is a loving and patient God. But don’t you wonder if He just covers his ears sometimes and yells out,

I’ve given you the answer! Not once, but a gazillion times! I even had others write it down for you!  Would you just learn what I’ve given already, your life will be so much better. Pretty sure I know what I’m doing.


I think He does get tired of it all.  He proved that when dealing with the Nation of Israel and all of their whining:

“Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused.” Numbers 11:1


“The Lord said to Moses and Aaron; “How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites.” Numbers 14:26-27.




Yes, God calls us to bring our burdens upon Him, no doubt, don’t get me wrong, but do we listen to His solutions?  Do we hear His answer?  Do we truly seek a biblical solution? Or do we simply choose to cry out continuously instead of making the changes He tells us to?


I think 4000+ years have proven that each and every word written down by God’s hand IS the absolute answer to everything.


photo: Renae Bowman


I hope you aren’t like me and fill up your day crying over extra pounds–I hope YOU get it and know what to do.  But if you find yourself in a pattern of crying out to God over the same thing, maybe it’s time to stop and seek the True answer.  Maybe that answer is right in front of you in black print, waiting to unlock the pains and anxiousness that have held on too long.  Maybe it’s time for God to take his hands away from his ears so he can hold you in his arms.  His bible tells us that is exactly what he wants to do.  Let today be the day you stop crying out, and be the day that you listen intently.

(If you need help getting started, I’m as close as a simple email. Send me a message.)

3 Replies

  1. Jim

    Well said my dear sister. The Lord is using you in a mighty way. May He continue to give you incredible insight and wisdom.
    Hoping to see you on the 11th. It should be a fun time.

  2. Bonnie

    You must be talking to the same God that I am, He’s sayin’ the same stuff. There must be some truth in it. I think if I talk loud enough , it won’t come through. It always does anyhow.

    Unfortunate that I have developed such an efficient set of filters that I can be selective and ignore so much of His truth.

    I am so good at it that I think I know what is best for me, that has a hollow ring to it, doesn’t it ?

    1. That’s a great statement Bonnie–our so-called “efficient set of filters” sure keeps us from His grace. You think we’d know that by now–boy we’re hard headed! Thank you for stopping by and chatting.

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