When Bravery is Gone and You Just Want to Hide

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. – Psalm 142:3 NIV

photo: Raye Wortel

photo: Raye Wortel

I didn’t want to get up.

It was eleven in the morning. The blinds were closed, the curtains drawn, and I was buried in the folds of my bed.

Sunlight snuck in beneath the curtains and played along the carpet. Life and light were alive and well and pressing in from the other side of my window, but I wanted no part of it.

I’m not brave today, carry on without me. I pleaded to the invading light.

My eyes were crusty and heavy from tears I cried the night before. A liquid outpouring of sorrow over my fears, my failures, and my circumstances.

The covers I clung to in the night had become my cocoon. I didn’t want to move. I wanted only to stay wrapped, small and … hidden.

Life is good without you today. A voice whispered in my head.

Maybe so. Maybe if I did stay hidden, the day would turn out better than good – maybe it’d be great. So great, in fact, everyone would forget I’m here.

Some days I’m so tempted to live a hide-ing life.

To blend in like a proverbial wallflower and let what wears me down, to pass on by. Yes, that was my plan. To pull the blankets high over my head and forget about what I couldn’t do, couldn’t change, and couldn’t face.

As I closed my eyes, another voice spoke within me.

I see you. I know your way and I’m watching.

There’s great comfort in knowing someone sees, isn’t there?

We’re glad when someone sees our pain, our fears, our loss or struggle, and comes with open arms to lift us up. To say, I know the way of your pain and I’m watching over what’s going on with you.

But how much more glad are we when we remember our heavenly Father sees us?

The depth of his vision is far greater than any human eye can see. He watches our way – not blind to what hurts. And in our hidden anguish, he comes with arms of compassion and love, calling us from behind our covers to stand in the light of his goodness.

I’m also glad his view of me is better than what I, or anyone else, can see.

[clickToTweet tweet=”God does not see us as shameful, guilty or plain, but holy, useful, and his.” quote=”God does not see us as shameful, guilty or plain, but holy, useful, and his.”]

When we remember he watches our way, we can be glad and rejoice in his love, for he sees our affliction and knows the anguish of our soul. (Psalm 31:7)

And you know what? Knowing he sees makes us brave. I’ve never felt guilty or inadequate to have God carry my misery.

Friends? Yes.

Husband? You bet.

Family? Definitely.

But when I hand over my sorrows to my all-seeing, all-powerful God, I have confidence he can do amazing things with them.

Are you hiding today? Is bravery a far-off wish? Then please know God sees you. He watches over your way, and through him you can come from your hiding place and live joyously, the life he has made for you, and made you for.

5 Replies

  1. Stacey

    Love this. Thank you Raye! 🙂

  2. Jeanette Pittman

    I needed this today! Thank you, especially for the Psalm 31:7 scripture plus…
    “And you know what? Knowing he sees makes us brave. I’ve never felt guilty or inadequate to have God carry my misery.”

    1. Raye Wortel

      You are so welcome, Jeanette! It’s such a comfort to know he watches. Have a beautiful, “watched over” week!

  3. Paige sanders

    Thank you for sharing that! It is so nice and reassuring that he is the one who always sees us even when we want to hide under the covers! Love you Raye! Paige

    1. Raye Wortel

      Love you dear friend! Thanks for commenting.

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